Tuesday, April 26, 2011

From: The Dog

My mom sent me this as an email and I thought it was pretty cute, so I decided to share it via blog.  Enjoy!
 
From: THE DOG
CC04DD9B6F8F4BE6ADFBEBFE07FBB99E@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?
97A85C4B7A3C4719A9A06A3F5C5D8D2D@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
C33BAE3803BB45D18F0C495AEBBCA083@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
D05F6D1024FE4672A7FC18643145B262@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?
6103E74550BF484194B2916824B489F7@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?
DAB6CFCED6B2400293A8C77079E915B5@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
BCF0FC438D11403FAB18362822ACA4F7@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
4BAA0261D997459A842277D18D45780F@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
10D5E124306145FDB86C0F7B23717E4A@VICTORIATECRA
Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7.  Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the capet.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
B9A291D4DFDD4C89ADB848B13DC23973@VICTORIATECRA
P.S.  Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?